Reflections on Social Media
I have recently been spending more time reflecting and musing on social media and my engagement with it. A book came out recently by Jonathan Haidt called The Anxious Generation that contains a wealth of research findings about how social media has impacted people, specifically Gen Z. Having heard about this book (and being a parent to a toddler), it immediately piqued my interest.
This post’s purpose isn’t to summarize or provide information found in Jonathan’s book (but I do recommend it for anyone interested). The purpose is to convey what I learned about myself while examining my relationship with social media.
When this process started for me, I was almost immediately confronted with the fact that I was engaging in a lot of automatic behaviors with social media. When I was completing a task that was mentally draining… pick up my phone – head to social media. When I posted photos from a recent family trip… pick up my phone to see who has liked or commented on the post. When I didn’t know what to do with my hands or what to say in a social situation… pick up my phone and distract with social media. When I began realizing this behavior, it made me feel uncomfortable. I did not like the fact that I was mindlessly engaging in behaviors, or that I did not pull from a grab bag of other things I could use in those situations.
As a result, I decided to start limiting my time by having a 30-minute timer allotted each day for social media (and not ignoring the notification that tells me my time is up for the day). The first day was a bit difficult. I felt like I may miss out on important news from the bands and artists I follow. I thought if my friends had posted something and I didn’t see it to like or comment on, they may think I was upset with them. What came up were thought processes I hadn’t realized were there.
As the days went on, the thoughts and feelings of missing out became less. I noticed a deeper connection with my surroundings and more control over how I was using my free moments. It allowed me space to really be with the people I was around, and I felt less compelled to entertain the virtual world.
From this whole experience, I think the thing I took away most is that it is healthy to re-evaluate your relationships with anything (or any person) in your life. To really spend time examining it and restructuring it if it isn’t serving a healthy purpose in your life. People do this often with their drinking behaviors for Dry January. Some people re-evaluate their relationship to their work or career if they are confronted with “workaholic” behaviors. My encouragement for anyone would be to give yourself the freedom to look at your life and behaviors and then confront, with curiosity, anything you see that you don’t like. Ask yourself the questions you need to ask. Then, take compassionate and courageous steps forward to cultivate a healthy relationship with the things you are bringing into your life.
Best of luck!